Today on the blog we’re talking about shame and the shame spiral, what that really means, how it’s keeping you stuck in binge and emotional overeating behaviours and what it looks like to practice acceptance and living shame free. We’re going to get into some tangible steps that you can take to move out of shame and into intentional acceptance that will benefit you in your food freedom journey and beyond.

I believe that healing your relationship with food and your body requires a process over time of putting together a toolbox and support system that works uniquely for you. For change to be successful, it has to be small and gradual, which is one of the hardest things for someone who struggles with the all or nothing mindset to accept. And so, as we get into this, just think of one part of what I'm talking about that relates to you and apply that in your life.

Time stamps

Shame and its impact (00:00:49) The significance of shame, its strong emotional impact, and the need to develop tools and support systems to heal the relationship with food and the body.

Moving Out of Shame (00:01:49) The importance of small and gradual changes, especially for individuals with an all-or-nothing mindset, and encourages listeners to apply one aspect of the discussion to their own lives.

Shame as a Barrier to Living (00:02:40) Challenges the belief that fixing oneself and achieving perfection in eating, exercise, and self-care is necessary to start living, and emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and considering the whole person in the journey towards food freedom.

The shame spiral (00:09:14) The shame spiral and how it can quickly derail a day or week for individuals with body image and food challenges. They explain how shame-based thoughts and emotions trigger a downward spiral and lead to self-sabotaging behaviors.

Hiding and avoiding behaviors (00:12:06) How individuals with negative relationships with food and their bodies often hide and engage in avoidant behaviours. They discuss the exhaustion of pretending and the struggle with identity that comes from putting worth in one's body. They also mention how shame leads to avoidance of emotions and self-soothing behaviors.

The importance of awareness and acceptance (00:14:01) Awareness and acceptance in the process of healing from shame. They explain that change starts with being aware of the problem and then accepting the reality of the situation. They also highlight the need for action and the belief that things can be better in the future.

Shame Triggers and Labeling Emotions (00:18:56) Recognizing shame triggers, slowing down the shame spiral, and the benefits of labeling emotions to reduce intensity and improve coping.

The importance of healing relationships and speaking up (00:22:46) Discusses how healing relationships impacted by shame can improve the relationship with food and the importance of speaking up and setting boundaries.

Developing a core relationship with oneself and releasing shame (00:25:39) Highlights the importance of introspection, self-love, and self-worth in releasing shame and developing a strong relationship with oneself.

The Shame Spiral and Its Impact on Our Relationship with Food

Shame is a universal human experience, and it can lead to feelings of unworthiness. It's particularly prevalent among high achievers who struggle with their relationship with food and their bodies. The shame spiral can be a destructive force, derailing our day or even our week. It's often triggered by declarative statements like "I am a failure," which can set off a downward spiral of negative thoughts and emotions.

These feelings of shame can lead to coping behaviors such as emotional overeating. It's important to remember that these behaviors are not the problem, but rather symptoms of underlying beliefs and societal expectations. We often focus on fixing these symptoms, rather than addressing the root cause, which only perpetuates the problem.

The Power of Acceptance and Gradual Changes

One of the key lessons in freeing ourselves from shame was the importance of practicing acceptance and living shame-free in the present moment. This doesn't mean ignoring our struggles, but rather acknowledging them and making small, gradual changes towards a healthier relationship with food and our bodies.

It's crucial to consider the whole person and not just focus on managing binge eating. This means looking at our past experiences, beliefs, and societal messages that may have contributed to our current struggles. It's about unlearning and healing from these beliefs, and replacing them with healthier ones.

Practical Tips for Coping with Shame Triggers

To break free from the shame spiral, we need to develop self-awareness and introspection. This involves slowing down, labeling our emotions, and creating space to process our feelings. It's about responding from a place of personal values rather than reacting based on external expectations.

We also discussed the importance of not over-apologizing and taking responsibility for everything. Instead, we need to practice self-compassion and develop a core relationship with ourselves. This involves getting clear about our values, finding joy in life, and setting boundaries in our relationships.

Healing Relationships and Finding Support

Our relationships can significantly impact our relationship with food. Isolation and negative relationships can contribute to coping mechanisms like emotional overeating. It's essential to heal these relationships and use our voices to set boundaries and ask for help.

Remember, you're not alone in this journey. I'm here to offer support and accountability to help you apply these concepts and work towards becoming the person you want to be.

In conclusion, shame can have a profound impact on our relationship with food and our bodies. But by practicing acceptance, making gradual changes, and developing self-awareness, we can break free from the shame spiral and move towards a healthier relationship with food and ourselves.

I'm currently accepting new clients for one-on-one coaching to help individuals develop a more balanced relationship with movement, food, and their bodies. You can book a free discovery call here or reach out to me on Instagram or send me an email at brittanyallison.rd@gmail.com for more information.

I wish you a wonderful week and weekend and look forward to connecting with you next time! Remember, the journey to a healthier relationship with exercise and food starts with self-reflection and understanding. You’re not alone- we’re in this together.

Until next time,

Britt

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